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Old 08-02-2012, 08:10 PM
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Glitter Glitter is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: BC, Canada
Posts: 115

Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
I LOVE your title!
Thank you!! It's something I was thinking we are all "parts" of a relationship (regardless of with whom the relationship is, we are all individual parts of it). We just need to be assembled before we are completed. I don't know how many parts there are in total, but as long as we continue to add them in when the fit is right, we should be good

Originally Posted by SNeacail View Post
1. Why explain things. "They live with us." If someone asks "Why?", just say "because that's the way the 4 of us like it" period, end of discussion. Yes, I live in a LARGE city where housing prices are mind boggling and multifamily co-habitation is basically normal.

True! My parents are planning on moving anyways, because they are wanting a place either further from town (rural) or more in town, not sure which to be honest. And that would allow for more trial visits, with some private space for them (if wanted). Of course, that is next year at a minimum, as everyone involved (parents want to move in the spring) needs to keep taking this slow.

Plus, this city is large enough that housing costs are redonkulous. It's one of the reasons my parents live here too. On our own, neither could afford this house. Cohabitation, regardless of with whom, just makes sense We're lucky that way!

2. You would have to get an extremely LARGE home to fit 4-6 adults (if your parents are still living with you) plus any more children that will come along. A duplex that could be converted to have a few shared areas, or even doorways between spaces. Keep the pets exclusively on your side.

For those that suffer with allergies, it can be extremely torturous to be around pets for more than a few hours at a time, sometimes just sitting in the same furniture the pets use is worse than the pet itself. It can also cause some life threatening side effects. For this reason alone, two houses likely on the same property would likely be a better solution. There are better allergy injections around nowadays, which can be helpful, but I would never even consider asking someone to live with a pet if they are severely allergic.

The allergies was something we were more worried about (though S spent an hour inside, with the animals, and he was ok, and there are allergy medications he can try). We use a hepa vacuum as well, and brush the furniture daily. Plus the cats/dogs have the option of going outside as they like, so they are not all squished into the house.

4. Can't say about the backlash of friends, but the way you approach things can make a difference in how they respond. Don't take a negative initial response as their final opinion on the issue. As far as the US vs Canada it depends on where you live in. Many states like California (and other West coast states) don't give a crap about your living situation beyond health and safety regulations (only so many people per # of bedrooms). From what I hear, some parts of Canada have some restrictive laws as well.

Thank you! We all will start to look at the laws and see what is expected/required by law (as per housing laws, I know there is nothing about living together, thankfully we don't have to worry about that).

***SLOW DOWN!*** I realize you are trying to plan for the future, which is fun, but things are still new and over time, a lot of these things will just work them selves out. There are times when too much planning can set you up to be disappointed or cause anxiety in everyone and that can damage the relationship. Relax and let the relationships develop and unfold naturally for a while more.
Very good points, thank you! And I agree, I need to just let go of some of those questions and worry about it once it plays out. I just don't want to dive head first into anything without understanding what the consequences of our actions would be. I've been reading many of the unhappy ending posts here, just so I can ream what I can from others' experiences. Basically I want everyone to have a good understanding of what can and may very well happen with us, before we get involved. And with a child already, I don't want to cause any heart ache for Bean.
Me: 33 F
Married to: Storm 35 M
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