love and having a favorite are different to me. I have 3 kids of my own. I love them all equally.
BUT my favorite is the one I get along with best.
The one who gets the most from me is the one who I've had the longest AND shared 6 years alone with.
But-favorite isnt=to any aspect of the love I have for them. Its about who I enjoy most to hang out with.
The same is true with my guys.
It's not as clear cut as you define-but one of them is primary in many ways and the other is primary in some other ways.
Ironically, the one I have the least sex with is much like you said-takes it well and easy going about accepting that he doesn't fulfill that part for me as well.
But, the one who I have the most sex with tends to be insecure about it (WTF?).
I love both of them with equall depth. I would not be able to choose one or the ohter if I had the whole "hanging from a cliff who do you pull up" example.
HOweVEr, I certainly have a favorite for who I confide in and am most vulnerable with emotionally, I have a different favorite for who I party with etc...
Favorites come into play regarding what activities I want to participate in-there are different people who are my favorite for different things.
But love-totally unrelated.
"Love As Thou Wilt"