Originally Posted by KyleKat
So basically you take care of her but someone else gets most of the sex? Well, that depends on your setup and personal preference. I would not be okay with this as my sex drive is extremely high. Are you okay with this? Have you spoken to her? What's her response?
Originally Posted by AnnabelMore
Yeah, you're going to have to explain a little better. Is it that you and he both spend roughly equal time with her sexually but he's more successful at meeting her sexual needs, or does she just engage in sex much more with him than with you (and if so, has she said why), or what?
Yes, at the moment Aurelie does engage in sex with him much more than she does with me. This is because both his wife and I have agreed that they can see each other whenever they want. Before they had set nights together, which they still do have, but now he can also come to my house to see her when he wants to, and Aurelie can go to his. Aurelie has said that they are taking advantage of this new freedom, and that they are experiencing a NRE type energy. I'm happy for them to share this together at the moment.
Normally, our sex life is very active and loving, so it's not a matter of who gets the most sex, him or I, it's more as you suggest, that he is more successful at meeting her sexual needs than I am. I have seen them together, and they do have a really incredible sexual chemistry together, and I'm happy to see her have that in her life.
I asked the question because I think that it would be unusual for guys to be as calm about it as I am. I think part of the reason for this is because I'm turned on by her being with another man and that someone is more able and better equipped to satisfy her than me. It was something that I was very embarrassed about, and it took encouragement from Aurelie for me to come to terms with it. The three of us are very comfortable with the sexual dynamic we share now, so it's great.
I think that we are very honest with each other, and this really does help our poly relationship.
Are others as honest with each other, or is it a case of people saying things like.........
"I love you both, and enjoy the sex we have in different ways, but your both equal." Even if that isn't true.
Or maybe they allow these things to go unsaid?
It's like when mothers tell their kids that she loves them all equally, when in truth, this is rarely true. She may treat them equal, but in her heart, she will have a favourite.
So, how do other guys cope with a situation like that? You know that the girl you love more than anyone else in the world, loves you just as much, but prefers the sex she has with her other partner? Are they madly jealous, turned-on or excepting in other ways?