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Old 08-02-2012, 01:12 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,863

Originally Posted by Josie View Post
I also worry about what will happen if one member of a polyship needs to move away, what happens? Does everyone move? Everyone has different things weighing them down to a location (kids, family, friends, jobs, etc), so if one person needs to move for whatever reason, who do they move with?
Just to point out that this happens in dyad-relationships as well - what happens when one spouse "has" to move and the other "has" to stay? You work it out (or you break up). Compromises are reached. We tend to think that it always happens that one person (usually the wife, but it could be the lower-wage earner or the one with more flexible job requirements) makes the "sacrifice" to move to stay with the other. But this really depends on the couple. I know husband/wife couples that maintain separate residences in different states and alternate weekends at the others house. Or one spouse lives in an out-of-town apartment during the week and comes home on weekends. Or more exotic arrangements.

We might take a page from how military families cope with extended separations...(PS. I don't think I could do this - MrS idly talked about joining the military at one point - I said "Good Luck with that - I can't promise that I will be waiting here for you when you come back" - he never brought it up again. I don't think I am cut out for LDRs on more than a FB/FWB level.)

In our case our geographic location is determined by the demands of MY career. The boys would probably like to live elsewhere...but their needs/wants are more flexible than mine, so here we are.

Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (24+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (6+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic hetero girlfriend and BFF
MrClean: hetero mono male, almost lover-friend to me, FWBs to SLeW
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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