Thread: GreenMom's Blog
View Single Post
Old 08-02-2012, 12:52 AM
GreenMom GreenMom is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 103

This week, we are trying to give the kids normal routines before and after work/school, and then once they are in bed, he goes to sleep somewhere else so we both have "space" to process and think and etc and I get to cry myself to sleep in our bedroom alone. Friday we are going to sit down and attempt to talk and determine if we are going to go the marriage counseling route or proceed with divorce. I am completely broken. It is taking all the will power I possess and some I am borrowing from some extra reserve not to call him, forgive him for everything, and beg him to come home to me. I am so lonely and its only been three days. I can hardly function. Seriously, I am trying to focus on work, but I have to keep running to the ladies room to cry. I have to pull off the side of the road while commuting so I don't have an accident from crying. It's not gentle quiet tears. It's sobbing, keening, a huge mess. He has lied so much and been so incredibly thoughtless that I have no idea how things could be fixed, if he is even willing to try. If I am willing to try. My brain tells me the smart thing is to divorce and rebuild, start over for me and the kids. my heart is sobbing out desperately to try and keep him. He was my best friend. We've been together for seven years. i am so fucking alone now. I want to wake up and find out this was all a horrible dream.

and the other woman.... is out on the web BRAGGING....I hope she is proud of her part in all this... cause she knew she was assisting him breaking our agreements and cheating on me. Her husband cheated on her and left her a few years ago to be a single mom to two kids and struggle to make it work. Now she may be the proud owner of a large role in leaving me a single mom with two kids struggling to make things work. The part of me that was her friend is angry at the betrayal for her to go with my husband behind my back knowing it would hurt me. The part of me that is a mother is horrified that a fellow mother could actively try to steal my childrens' father away from them.
"This, too, is sacred."
I am my own primary.
Me: F, 30's, bi.
Sadist: my fwb. M, 30's.
Pandora: Sadist's gf. F, 30's.
Reply With Quote