Originally Posted by Mintcar
I'm kinda done with all of this bulls###, but this is the man I thought was my soulmate. He used to say he loved me the most and was my best friend, and that I was the most beautiful thing in the world. Lately I just feel like a concubine. When this all went down he even went as far as to say that the only reason he kept me around anymore was because I was his sex kitten and a stellar lay, and far more adventurous than his wife.
Can I ask what part of the above seemed a healthy enough situation that you'd move in with them? It sounds to be a severely destructive situation and yet some part of being held higher than his wife in their marital home appealed to you. Did she seem happy to have that dynamic or did she not know it was being put to you in that way?
This is not to point fingers but rather to help you see what destructive patterns entice you so you can own them and learn healthier enticements and better foundations to build on. It is going to be the work (self work) that will serve you better than sussing out all the ways they are effed up will accomplish. Otherwise you're doing no better than they, looking outward rather than in, to fix life issues.