How is it going?
You seem to have a clear head there.
BF not being firm in his own wants, needs, limits toward his OSO. Him being all namby pamby making it hard for YOU to work with him on the polyship tiers that DO affect you.
So since he's being all namby and not giving you clear communication or feedback, you get close to a point where you need to make YOUR choices and just not take his input on board then. He's not using this air time to know and state his wants and needs for them to be considered.
Hoping you are well.