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Old 07-31-2012, 04:07 PM
thisis thisis is offline
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 6

6 months? Nooooo, not doing that! I refuse! On the basis that the thought process may be limerant, I ended up talking to the lady concerned about it (shock! horror!).

Turns out she was having other insecurities but just doing a better job at hiding it/pretending it wasn't there. We talked about ways around it, but mostly I think the process was cathartic and the reassurance of knowing that I'm not being "needy" (or at least, not being perceived as such), and that even if I were, it wouldn't matter, has made a big difference. If I start missing her, I can just say so and we can make an effort to fix it. Equally she found my investment, and my willingness to talk about any concerns I have (rather than just dumping her without any warning) to be really reassuring. This has calmed her own anxieties a great deal, which has had the side effect of softening her behaviour towards me, which has further reassured me. This stuff is cyclic!

Let's see how this potential case of "communication solving all problems" plays out well. Fingers crossed.
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