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Old 07-31-2012, 02:53 PM
bambisrevenge bambisrevenge is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
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Default Girlfriend wants to go Poly. I don't think I do, enlighten me!

Hi all,

My long term (5 years) girlfriend recently brought up that she would like to go Poly. I am a pretty open person in regards to, well, most everything. But this just doesn't sit well with me. Perhaps y'all can enlighten me.

Some Background:
My girlfriend of 5 years (generally great relationship- although the last year or so has been distant and almost no sex, primarily due to her being very stressed out) was out of town on business for 6 weeks. Upon returning she confessed she slept with someone else the day before she left (this was 5 days ago now). It was someone who she had formed a strong friendship with.

I was (understandably, I think) quite upset. This is a girl I love however, so I have been focusing on trying to forgive her and get past this.

I am against ultimatums, but my response was to tell her never to see this person again. This upsets her, primarily because he is a core part of a new group of friends she wants to be a part of. Perhaps I was too harsh, but I really can't stomach the thought of her seeing this person again.

During one of our talks about our relationship she brought up the fact that she has been thinking she would like to try a poly relationship. The timing of this does not sit well with me, considering she has never mentioned this before.

She says Poly is like going and hanging out with friends, but potentially having sex instead of playing Borderlands. I feel like any time she has sex with someone else is time she chose someone to have sex with someone else instead of me, considering I have the higher sex drive and am down most anytime. How do people in Poly relationships get over this?

I realize this isn't completely a poly-only question, and I'm sorry if that's not cool.

Summary: Long term Gf cheats. I am in the process of forgiving. She proposes Poly, I feel like Poly is cheating with a partner's consent.
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