thank you KM, reading your thread is both informative and helpful.
My husband is general the silent type when it comes to the "why" and deep stuff. He will say he loves me and when i ask why to be playful he replies "because your awesome". LOL! I love him but sweety i want details lol. However, that's just who he is. He can finally be opened like a fruit peel and share all the reasons he feels a certain way. But it's not something he just opens up and says on his own.
So, when i first had the ideal of what i wanted for us i was scared. I would discuss it and he would say "that's fine sweety". It felt one sided and i got insecure. I started to worry about him being shared with another woman if he wasnt even sharing his feelings about the idea. Everything i said was fine with him...which struck me as odd. Simply because most serious life changing events are supposed to be discussed deeply before you just say "that's fine sweety" lol.
But, we got into deeper discussions and he did finally give me his feelings on the idea. He agrees with me on every standpoint down to wanting to be her friend first. Whether anything happens while we are just friends is not the issue. Because once sex happens there is no such thing as "just friends" anymore. So we would be cautious about self control.
As for the std comment i made. Personally, these military doctors are insane when it comes to that crap. I got tested for STD's a month ago even though i assured the doctor there was no way i could have one because i have only been with my husband for 4 years. But, she tested me anyway. And the Army tested my husband at his last major check up back in February, which i am sure has to do with the Army. They test for things even if you assure there it's not possible. So, my husband and i have both been checked within the last 5 months. And since we have had no other sex partners in 4 years i am certain there is nothing "hidden" or "unerlying" in our bodies. What could possibly lay dormant for 4 years? So yes get her checked. We have proof that we were already checked. No need to again unless we have intercourse with someone else.