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Old 07-30-2012, 10:29 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 2,594
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Break it out. Everyone OWN YOUR OWN BAG.


In my universe? All players have this.

I'll get ya started but YOU work it up yourself if you like my approach. We're all different, I can only tell you how it works for me in my world.

STEP ONE: SPIT IT OUT. Wants, Needs, limits on table.

Your GF:

Wants:

(to avoid personal growth tier of GF to GF?
(to avoid having to deal with your having a GF?)
(to share a partner? To get to be first? WHAT?)

Needs:

Limits:


YOU:


Wants:
(To date Sun without drama? Is it possible?)
(To have GF hold her OWN BAG better?)

Needs:

Limits:


Sun:

Wants:
(to date you?)

Needs:

Limits:


STEP TWO: LITMUS TESTING ACROSS CHAIN LINK TIERS. WHAT IS STRONG? WHAT IS WEAK?


Break out the polymath relationships in this particular trio

Check the tiers. Where are the Jedi? Where are the Muppets? Who needs to hold a bag to transform muppet tiers to Jedi level? (Cuz we like to WATCH Muppets. Nobody wants to BE muppets. play like a Jedi, NOT like a Muppet. Otherwise why you on this poly station at ALL?)

you to yourself as part of a polyship of 3 -- You are no longer footloose single when in polyship. You are responsible to your polyship pees in various ways.
you to GF
you to Sun
You to (GF + Sun)
You + GF + Sun as a trio, working as a team

GF to GF as part of polyship
GF to you
GF to Sun
GF to (You + Sun)
GF + You + Sun

Sun to Sun as part of polyship
Sun to you
Sun to GF
Sun to (You + GF)
GF + You + Sun

GHOST LAYERS

WHEN we break up we hope it is... in death do us part? Something else?
When the FUSION of the trio is over.... how to we want to be together if it break out like

You - GF - Sun (nobody together any more parting as friends)
You - GF - Sun (nobody together any more parting as enemies)
(You + GF) - Sun (how it started, but not because you are changed for the experience. Friends or enemies?)
You - (GF + Sun) (twist you have to think ahead for. Friends or Enemies?)
(You + GF + Sun) + Mystery Person (twist of -- the old trio formation dies because there's a new crew member on the polyship!?


For the polyship to fly well, most of those tiers need to be at least "Jedi in training" if not already "Jedi" to me. 20 layers that I count. You make 70% if 14 tiers seem at least Jedi in Training. It's a calculated risk because perhaps one of the players is NOT being totally honest. But I'd be alright with a risk of 6 tiers needing working out if they are mostly on the ghost tier. Some things cannot be predicted. If the broken 6 are all in the GF bucket -- whoa. Do not fly! If it's like broken 2 each -- then that's no so bad. But get a litmus handle on what you might have here.

Any one tier can make the rest a nightmare if it is a Muppet Player.

It's not gonna fly if GF is doing avoidy shirky on the personal growth tier of (GF to GF)

It's not gonna fly if Sun is doing avoidy shirky on the tier of Sun to (GF + YOU) and respecting that needs strengthening so GF can have enough support to overcome GF+GF tier confidence probs. Her pecking at it will only slow progression.

You can fill in the rest. That's the basic framework. If it were me assessing it?

If my tiers are looking 70% C average Jedi in training or better? I'd consider giving the polyship a flight run. But that's me. If it's looking like tiers are looking like CRAP -- 69% is a "D" in school. Passing but just barely. I don't need D for Drama, man.

I want polyship that's (C)ool, (B)etter or (A)wesome.

I do NOT need (D)rama or (F)ucked up.

And that requires honesty in assessment at the beginning. Everyone holding their own baggage. Everyone keep their promises made to the polyship before signing up for this new mission. There's rights and responsibilities here to play with me or don't freakin' play ball here. I'm willing to tack on your bits to the initial flight contract but you better speak up NOW.

KNOW and STATE your wants, needs, and limits.

So I'd suggest a realistic polyship assessment and see what shape this could be at. Otherwise? Do not play with Sun. Do not launch a new polyship, just have the fun experience of opening up to the maybe and deciding with INTENT to let it wait/be/not go there. All you are out is an interesting evening(s) with some food and interseting conversation.

You might learn something about yourself. About your GF. About Sun. And maybe that's enough to be the thing and the whole of the thing without the polyship actually leaving ground?

If you see weakness in the potential polyship of 3? Do not fly. DO the WORK though...

Get your Polyship of 2 with just YOU AND GF on better footing first. Your foundation framework strengthened. Also your conflict resolution styles down. There will be conflict. Life is life. And conflict isn't horrible. It's just opportunity for greater understanding and growth. If you let be Jedi.

Let it be Muppets? Here comes the fish being thrown about, chickens feathers ruffled, pandemonium Ms Piggy karate chops and more. Fun to WATCH. Not fun to LIVE.

HTH!
GG

Last edited by GalaGirl; 07-30-2012 at 10:52 PM.
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