I think you need to find the time to find comfort in just yourself for a minute . The colleague of relationships you described has got to have a toll on both of you emotionally .He may or may not return but if Ted does you need to set ground rules that you both agree to and abide by. If he doesn't then if you are going to free flow in relationships like these maybe try a 10 year plan the next time make no promises and whoever sticks around for say ten years and still is okay with your choices is the ones for you. The relationship you had was a leaking ship from the time you said I was willing to suppress my poly. life. Anything suppressed will come up sooner or later.