Some more thoughts on the boring thing....
I finally got him to talk a little bit about it. I've been nervous and confused, because ... well, I have a pretty broad repertoire. I like to wake him up with oral sex, I'm down for some bondage and spanking if he's in the mood, I like a lot of different positions, and I have my favorite porn sites bookmarked already. I try to vary things as much as possible, no routine. And I'm a licensed massage therapist, to boot. Touch is one of my gifts. So to be called boring took me by surprise - I'm a very sexual person, with a quite high libido.
And when I got him to explain it it turns out to be worse than I thought. He finds our sex life boring compared to new relationships. So, I'm set up in competition with NRE - and that's a battle I am NOT going to win. The new and different will always be more exciting. It just shouldn't be a competition in the first place.
There has already been a metric buttload of "processing" today, so I am going to wait until later to fight that battle.
I really really appreciate all the input. I will check out both the book by Burns and the red hot touch website.