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Old 07-29-2012, 08:31 PM
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Arrowbound Arrowbound is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Tri-State
Posts: 275

Originally Posted by Seraphic View Post
...I feel like I've turned my husband into a monster. He's not evil...we just have different perspectives.
No need to backpedal. You haven't turned him into anything; you've just been honest. Sometimes that's all it takes -- laying it out on the table plain as day in front of your own face so the truth isn't hiding somewhere beneath the folds of excuses.

Originally Posted by Seraphic View Post
GG, to your question of harming children, never. He would never, EVER do that kind of thing. He's never physically hit me, but he has thrown my stuff around the bedroom before (ie: my Macbook that he'd bought me as a birthday present the year after we were married.... I "came to bed late" and he was mad about it, so he threw it across the room). He refers to my stuff as "shit," but his stuff is "stuff." He'll remind me of my "promises" (such as my personal commitment to do laundry once a week), but he'll constantly choose not to do something he's promised to do (like dishes) because he works 40 hours a week (I do not...which I'll get to in a few moments).
The bolded? Not okay. It doesn't matter if he hasn't tried to choke you out. Throwing objects because he's mad? That's what my toddler son (almost 3) does, almost daily. My toddler son, who I'm assuming is much younger than your husband. Don't excuse this. Don't accept it either.

Originally Posted by Seraphic View Post
I'm maintaining a 4.0 in a Master's program with plans to start a doctorate in March of 2013. I work about 10-20 hrs/week for a real estate agent. It's not what I enjoy and it's not consistent hours or money (but, hey! I'm, apparently, not qualified for say the hiring people). He doesn't understand why I can't just get a job (I can't even get work at a fast food joint because I'm over-qualified) and reminds me of such, periodically. He's not evil. He just wants what he wants and is under his own stress at work.
Stop excusing this man. I get it, y'all are married. But he just wants what he wants? He is acting like an overgrown child. Coddling doesn't help. Kids "just want what they want" and often don't think of consequences.

Originally Posted by Seraphic View Post
I'm sure I'm the most horrid wife ever. I don't fulfill his wants/desires/needs. Perhaps I am functioning in a learned helplessness capacity. I dunno...I read those descriptions and it scares me, at first, then I logic it out and's likely just my emotions and my hurt that is causing the problem....
You're sure? Do you believe that?
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