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Old 07-29-2012, 07:09 PM
sparklepop sparklepop is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 350
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I feel arrogant saying welcome to the forum... since it is not my forum... hahaha... but hello and... (substitute for welcome)

Quote:
The problem is that I'm actually finding the NRE crippling!
When I read this, I was about to say... "ahh! I know what you mean! I don't have time for NRE; I hate talking every day, it's so claustrophobic to me!"

Then I carried on reading. Hahaha.

Quote:
However, after each time I see her, which is always fantastic, I find myself in this sort of grey state where everything seems muted, and it's hard to concentrate or properly enjoy myself at all my other activities. I just see her face all the time in my head!
Sounds like love sickness. Someone call a Doctor

Quote:
In all the earlier, mono relationships in my life (over a decade ago), the possibility of this has never arisen - those first few weeks of NRE have been spent in each others' company most of the time, but now I find myself in what must be a common poly situation - NRE on one day a week.
That's a very good point. If you're used to seeing someone you're into all the time in the past, this must be a new experience for you. If it's also been over a decade since you've dated outside of your wife... it's likely to be much more powerful!


Quote:
To those of you that have been there, experiencing this sort of effects, how did you cope? Will it take long to settle? Encouraging words most welcome!
The only time this has happened to me is when I met my current girlfriend.

I randomly met current GF online... we connected instantly... she blew my mind. Soon enough, we were talking every day, for hours and hours, about everything. God, I was completely smitten. We were addicted to each other.

I couldn't concentrate at work, I didn't want to go out with my friends, I couldn't stop thinking of her. It was overwhelming. And it did affect my life. It affected by job pretty badly... so I hope you crazy kids are more careful!

It's been about a year and a half and we live long distance. I only get to see her for three months at a time, every three months. So that might keep the NRE going for us... but all I know is, I still can't wait to talk to her every day, still do barely anything but sit and chat with her on skype... and I'm still pretty wrapped up in love. We fight like nothing you've ever seen before (feel free to check out my mopey threads detailing such arguments, haha)... but we help each other grow like nothing I've ever known.

Erm... what I mean is... you will one day be able to focus on work again. I promise. I think.

Out of interest... how are you finding it in terms of your wife? Are your feelings just as warm and lovey as they always were for her? More, less? Do you still enjoying going out on dates together? I'm just curious to hear more of your story!
__________________

Me: (30f) open poly
Serious long-distance relationship with GF (40f)
Casual FWB with Descartes (27f)



“Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without." ~ Buddha
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