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Old 07-29-2012, 01:01 PM
thisis thisis is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 6
Unhappy NRE on a day a week

New here and I find myself needing - well, I don't know - support? Encouragement? Advice?

I'm in what for many on here may be an enviable situation, having successfully made the switch to poly within a very long term relationship with no problems we've not been able to work through easily so far. If anything it has strengthened our relationship in unexpected ways. My wife is fully appraised of everything below, and has been a rock, but she can't give me the benefit of experience!

I've met someone new who is wonderful - we clicked immediately, want all the same things, and have a real developing emotional bond. It's so exciting and energising. All in all, I should be blissfully happy, basking in the glow of NRE.

The problem is that I'm actually finding the NRE crippling! The new lady and I have been seeing each other about once a week properly, with occasional lunches and a constant daily exchange of texts and emails, just sharing the details of our lives or simply saying good morning or goodnight. We're both poly, and both have busy social lives, so there hasn't been room to see each other any more than we have been. However, after each time I see her, which is always fantastic, I find myself in this sort of grey state where everything seems muted, and it's hard to concentrate or properly enjoy myself at all my other activities. I just see her face all the time in my head! This persists for most of the week, and it's totally out of character. I know she is also finding concentration difficult at work, but she doesn't seem to have lost her enthusiasm for her social life, so although it's not all one-sided, I seem to be the worst affected. That said, she is a much more experienced polyamorist.

In all the earlier, mono relationships in my life (over a decade ago), the possibility of this has never arisen - those first few weeks of NRE have been spent in each others' company most of the time, but now I find myself in what must be a common poly situation - NRE on one day a week.

To those of you that have been there, experiencing this sort of effects, how did you cope? Will it take long to settle? Encouraging words most welcome!

Last edited by thisis; 07-29-2012 at 01:04 PM.
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