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Old 07-29-2012, 07:44 AM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Gia admitted to me the other day that she has a crush on our friend Dexter. I was kind of delighted to hear it. Dexter is adorable, very sweet, and could really, really use some closeness in his life. It's funny, because I would be pretty pissed off if she devoted much time to him right now, when she and I have so little. But at the same time, he's just so damn cute.

She's been exploring her dominant desires lately, thanks at least in part to my encouragement, and I know that she's discovered that she wants very much to dominate a man, which Eric just isn't into. If she could get that with Dex, that'd be so damn awesome. I have no particular reason to think he's kinky, much less submissive, but I could picture it. But even if it didn't go down that way, even if it were just vanilla sex, I could never begrudge her a night with him... Eric is *still* her one and only male partner, whereas I've had plenty of partners, both male and female, over the years. She deserves the chance to experience some of life's delicious variety too. So I've got all of these positive feelings about her state of crushing, and on the one hand would love to see her pursue it, but on the other hand I know I could end up wicked-jealous pretty easily, what with the alone-time-deprived state she and I are in right now.

When she told me, my first response was to squeal "Ohmygosh that's so cute, you dating Dexter would be so cute!!" and her response was "I don't have time to date Dexter," before going on to talk about why she likes him. Soooo, it probably won't go anywhere??? But we'll see. I wouldn't mind her sleeping with him *once*, for the experience, but after that she and I would need to be spending a good deal more time together before I think I could be ok with it becoming more than that. I feel silly flinging my mind so far ahead when it's doubtful anything at all will even happen, but that's what I do, I overthink. I'll keep y'all updated, of course.

I spent most of the day at her place today, it was very pleasant. We crafted, took turns watching Bee, Eric made pizza, another friend who was visiting made fudge, Dexter came by for a little bit to work on something (so many of us seem drawn to spend time with G & E in their space!). It felt calm and warm and productive.

At one point, Eric curled up on the couch to rest. I kept glancing at him and then finally I couldn't take it any more, he looked so inviting. I wrapped my arms around him and nuzzled him and said "I just have to cuddle you, look at you!" I stopped after just a moment and let him go back to resting.

At another point I gave Bee to Eric and he cried and reached back out for me. Eric tried to soothe him but he kept reaching and making upset sounds, so I took him back. He's always happy to see me, but that was the first time he's ever wanted my presence over that of one of his parents. I felt a little embarrassed about it, but if Eric was bothered he didn't show it.

Gia put on some perfume right before she kissed me goodnight tonight. Now it's lingering on my skin and it occurs to me that she probably put it on for just that propose. *dreamy sigh* The kinky things she's been posting on her tumblr, the little notes she adds here and there that I know are directed at me (in some cases because she explicitly says so, in others because it's just obvious), all of it is so tantalizing, it lingers, not unlike the wisps of perfume.

In just 5 days we'll all be at the big annual camping event together. Gia, Eric, Bee, Dexter, and our friend Summer and I will all be camping in the same spot. Summer is going to help with babysitting, yay! And Gia's parents will be around during the days to help too (they'll be staying at a hotel nearby to enjoy the event instead of camping).

I'm so, so, SO excited about the event in general, and especially about being with my peeps. Being apart from them last year was so hard. We're all going to be very busy, so I'm trying not to get TOO focused on all the things I want to do with her (D/s, sex, romantic stuff, partying... roughly in that order). But, just knowing that the opportunity will be there, it's impossible not to think about. I'm trying not to expect too much, we'll all be really busy. I'm trying to remind myself that we'll be able to make the space for a romantic/sexy date when we get back. Gods, I wish we'd done that before this, then maybe I'd feel less crazy. I feel so needy when it comes to her lately, like there's this ache that I know would fade if we could just have enough time to ourselves. She has so much of my heart. If we could do once a month just-us dates, I'd be ok. Deep breaths. We'll work it all out when we get back. Don't freak out, enjoy the objectively amazing things that you have.
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Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
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