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Old 07-28-2012, 09:28 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

Originally Posted by Isistopaz View Post
What originally started as a whole group activitiy quickly moved to seperate room swapping. ...
Sounds like you are talking about swinging, when you mention "swapping," not poly.

Originally Posted by Isistopaz View Post
Sparing all the gorey painful details, it was discovered that each poly swap couple fell in love with each other. We are trying to work through this bc we all love each other and have kids who are best friends, but I dont know where this is going....there is a lot of hurt on words said, feelings kept hidden, dreams for the future.
I don't understand the problem. That is what polyamory is about - loving more than one. It sounds like you went into this believing and hoping deeper, loving feelings would not develop, but thought that was poly??? Well, you called your swinging/swapping poly anyway, but now you are in shock that you are all in love with each other. Love and tender feelings are bound to come up when you are intimate with someone repeatedly, over time. Expanding your heart and being open to loving multiple people is a beautiful thing. No one should have been hiding it or lying about it, and I can understand why that would hurt, but I truly don't know why loving someone else, or your husband loving someone else, would be more risky to your marriage than fucking someone else would be.

You added your post to a thread about break-ups. Did some of you break-up? What happened? And what is it about loving, polyamorous relationships that you are afraid of, exactly? Voicing your specific concerns will get you better, more focused advice.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.

Last edited by nycindie; 07-28-2012 at 09:32 PM.
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