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Old 07-28-2012, 09:06 PM
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SunsetMan SunsetMan is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Saskatoon, SK
Posts: 28
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Isistopaz,

I'm new to poly, but this place is a great place to be. I'm going to give you some of the best/most common advice for first-time posters.

BREATHE! (seriously, do this, it helps)

I was a trainwreck for weeks when this bombshell was dropped on me. I was rushed into things, and I had to really struggle to find a comfortable place with it and I'm only now starting to feel like I'm actually in a GOOD place.

Let me understand this more, both men are in love with both women? At first glace, that situation seems to be fairly ideal in many respects, but it can bring up some fears. Some of those fears are rational, some are not... and only you can really decide which is which.

Poly only seriously works if everyone involved is open and honest with one another. This includes you being honest with yourself.

Calm down and relax. If you are feeling suicidal, then you should probably get some support. That can come from within your group of lovers, or from the outside (that can be tricky, since they have a moral and legal obligation to take certain actions if they hear that you want to hurt yourself).

Do whatever it takes to relax, and then start examining your fears one by one. Drag them into the light and put them under a microscope.

Upon doing just that, I surprised myself. I grew stronger and more confident, starting to understand that not everything I needed to know about love could be picked up from any number of disney movies.

Browse this forum, educate yourself. Ask questions.

Above all... Stay calm and stay safe!
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37 y.o straight mono male in a V with my soulmate and love of my life, A (31 poly bi F) ... who is a hinge between myself and P (29 straight, mono male)
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