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Old 07-28-2012, 07:44 PM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,895

Originally Posted by Merlyn View Post
Since we only spent a few days together we havent gotten into really serious territory yet, but all signs are good.
I don't have any suggestions, mainly because I can't envision having "spent a few days together" with someone and not talking about relationships. Anyone who has talked to me for 5 minutes knows that I have a husband - he's in practically every anecdote I am likely to tell (and now I find the same thing happening with Dude - although I leave out the true nature of our relationship unless I am actually friends with the person I am talking to).

Perhaps my confusion as to how this seems to come up so often on these boards stems from the fact that I am never talking to people with the intention of trying to develop a relationship with them. For me the progression is always: talk to someone interesting -/-> friends -/-> FWB -/-> lovers -/-> relationship (I don't actually have a "dating" stage anywhere in there - I don't know how that even works). The progression may stop anywhere along that continuum, I have made it to "relationship" exactly twice - but I can't envision myself getting close enough to someone to consider having a relationship with them without going through all of the stages preceeding that...(OK, I guess I could see having a fuckbuddy that THEN became a friend and proceeded through the phases from there).

JaneQ(Me): poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (25+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (7+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic hetero girlfriend and BFF
MrClean: hetero mono male, almost lover-friend to me, ex-FWBs to SLeW, friends with MrS
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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