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Old 07-28-2012, 06:41 AM
Merlyn Merlyn is offline
New Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 2
Default How do I come out to new second partner?

Hello, I am really new here. Thanks to a lot of reading Ive done on here and especially the Anapol book I finally realized , and accepted that I am poly. What a relief, its like being cured of this ridiculous blindness society imposes.

In a bold all or nothing move I came out last weekend to my partner, we have been in an open sort of relationship for about 4 years. Although she accepeted my lifestyle, and has gone as far as wanting to meet some of my other partners there has been a lack of communication and jealousy. I always just assumed she wanted mono and would never get or accept me. There was a huge wall between us that has just been torn down. Previously I had just figured she would get tired of my screwing around and move on like the rest, I had no way of describing how and why I needed other partners.

A new level of communication, openness, acceptance and compersion has since emerged. We are both actively and effectively dealing with jealousy issues and we now even talk and fantasize about 3 somes and what kinds of guys/girls we are both potentially attracted to. So here's the catch...

I met a girl at easter, she's not 'the one'. She's the 'other one'! No way to to describe the connection chemistry, closeness and love we experienced. I really fell like these are the 2 girls I could settle down with, start a family. Partner #1 would be into it. What she described as far as what our 3rd partner would be is 99.99 this girl. Its like she was made for us.

However she lives 2 provinces away (fucked up as this is, but the same province as my #1 and literally the same place I will be moving next year, too good to be true...) Since we only spent a few days together we havent gotten into really serious territory yet, but all signs are good. Like if I thought I was mono, I would know this is the one. No one wants to hear my sappy shit, but trust me it is real.

So. How the heck do I even bring this up? I am thinking she might just bolt, think I tried to deceive her or something like that. Truth is we only had a few short but amazing, life changing days together and in my bliss I never had the opportunity to get there. There was such an amazing connection she is so inteligent, aware, and enlightened, and communication is so open. I just want to be open and be my self and I have so much love for her. I dont want to deceive her but I also dont want her to think I am some sort of weirdo.

It seems like a perfect situation I just dont want to ruin it. I also know it might just be the newness of it all.

Any words of wisdom aside from 'just be honest'? I mean real practical things, how to start this conversation? I dont know if she's a unicorn or hbb, or whatever. This is really new territory to me and I am just trying to keep this amazing evergy together and is not exactally easy. It kind of puts a lot of pressure on the situation, any help would be greatly appreciated.
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