Thread: heartache...
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Old 07-28-2012, 01:50 AM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 4,474

Ah, nude pix.

So you learned something about yourself -- do NOT share nudes so early in rship or you will feel vulnerable in a way you do not like to feel.

I mean this kindly. But own your own baggage, hon. You would not be feeling this yuck if you hadn't gone to that level so soon. *hug*

from my standpoint....the girl went completely silent after convincing me to send nudes of me with my husband. that is very disrespectful.

You did not have to agree. You took a risk in opening a part of you up.

wouldnt it more more respectful of her to let us know if she is okay and a heads up for breaking the date instead of going completely silent on us?
OWN your own bag works both ways.

Wouldn't it be easier to just reach out and touch base with her to clarify and verify?

Rather than get the MegaHumpy because she's not Mindreader enough to just KNOW how to alleviate your discomfort without you opening your mouth (and thus plunging you into deeper discomfort before you get release from Hang Time.)

Alleviate it yourself. Speak you truth, even if it makes you feel even MORE vulnerable. But neither fly off the handle. If waiting a week is too long in Hang Time for you, go for 2 days or something. Shoot call NOW if you need to know now. "Wassup? What happen after I send pix? We still on for date or we canceling?"

It's not too much to ask for. She can have her emergency and be respectful to our feelings.
Was this a LIMIT set before the photo exchange? I suspect not or you wouldn't be here grumbling.

"I'm gonna send you some nudes. I feel vulnerable about that risk. I need you to email back that they were received and that we will reconnect at our date time to process that sharing of that vulnerble. THEN I will send. Agree? Fair enough? Play ball or not? "

You are RESPONSIBLE for knowing your own wants, needs, limits.
You are RESPONSIBLE for guarding your own emotional safety (and your partner(s) you are involved with.)

Think about that some - what your poly framework will be to help you thru glitches. Mine are posted here.

It's a learning curve. I am so sorry you feel bad. *hug*

Good judgement comes from bad experiences. And bad experiences come from bad judgement. This feels yucky, and I affirm and validate that is does leave one feeling kinda raw and exposed.

BUT... poly has a lot of places where you go and spend Hang Time at the Emotional Forge. You feel raw and exposed.

Poly is sometimes like edge play of the heart.

That is the reality. You can use this as a learning experience regardless of how it turns out for that. It's only pix. Hopefully not too raunchy. But even if so, a valuable thing to learn about yourself.

And I hope her metaphorical Cat gets over eating the slippers and she calls you back soon and clears up whatever needs clearing up so you can feel better there too. Hang in there!

Forge time sucks sometimes. You will be ok. Hang tight.


Last edited by GalaGirl; 07-28-2012 at 01:59 AM.
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