Thank you - that helped a lot. I'm trying to do that and use this time to sort out my head, heart and spirit rather than see it as dead time.
We have had a conversation. Things are still very much in limbo. He's been able to say what he absolutely doesn't want and what is still within the bounds of possibility but which might require a lot of talking and soul-searching for him. So, I have something to work with, as it were.
We're going to aim to schedule time to talk regularly and see how things go, both in terms of seeing how he might fit into baby's life and also whether we might be potential partners. This seems positive to me. It's just difficult knowing how this is meant to work when I have no mental template for this sort of relationship. Straight, mono romance is choreographed by all the millions of representations on TV and books and cinema - no-one ever taught me the steps for the queer, poly dating dance.
L is being nice to me but is pretty much focused on impending child to the exclusion of almost everything else. I suppose that's understandable though.
Thank you for the words of support - they've helped a lot. I'll let you know how things go.