The conversation with Bob went well.
Even though I've told him from the start that I don't want anything serious with him, he thought that my words and actions were contradictory and suspected that I did want something more with him anyway. We cleared that up and now we're hopefully on the same page again. I had to come to a conclusion that my actions represent my feelings (I like him) and that he's used to being treated like that only when someone wants to be his partner. I had to explain to him the difference between my feelings and my rational decisions, that I don't just go with the feelings whenever I have them. I make my decisions based on many different things and feelings are just one of them. Even though I like him, we just can't be partners and I know that. And even though I know that, I still treat him with the same tenderness that I would with anyone I have feelings for. So I guess that's where things got confusing for him. Then we also concluded that we're friends first and the benefits are only a bonus. If sex is making things too difficult, we want to save the friendship and stop the sex. It hasn't come to that yet but at least we know now what's the most important thing for us and that's friendship. It was a good conversation.
Me: bi female in my 30's
Living with Hank (partner) and Will (friend)
Metamour: Dahlia (Hank's partner)
Recent ex: rory (living with Dahlia)