Originally Posted by RagingBibliophile
I should probably add to the blog my own faults, especially as I've accepted my, albeit admittedly small, part of the problem. I am a very disorganized person. I am horrible at cleaning. I was never, ever meant to be a housewife . . . So when I'm depressed, I don't want to do squat . . . And while my self-esteem isn't where it should be (I took a pretty critical hit with this)
Your husband's behavior and treatment of you rests solely on his head, and no matter how sloppy a housekeeper you are or how disorganized a wife, you do not deserve to be treated like shit. Yes, I do believe that each person in a relationship is 100% responsible for their part in it. It ain't 50-50. We're all whole people with full responsibility for our lives. But perhaps the part you played, that you are responsible for, was your acceptance of his behaviors or overlooking them just to hang on to the marriage. It certainly isn't that you were a bad wife. Puh-leez don't do that to yourself. He chose to lie and cheat
, you didn't force him to do that. He just as easily could have made a different choice, like coming to you and talking about his dissatisfaction, or going to therapy to address whatever hole he's trying to fill up inside himself by dishonestly sneaking around to fuck someone else without your consent.
"Critical hit" -- is it really any wonder you've been depressed? Dear woman, you need to open your eyes, see his douchebag actions for what they were, let yourself feel your anger about it (you can't "get rid of it" without letting yourself experience it first), stop blaming yourself, stop making excuses for him, and draw the line.