1) Breathe. You guys are letting yourselves REACT to strong emotion rather than ACT WITH INTENT. One is fire (you) one is ice (her) the other is atwittery (him). STOP reacting. Let the emotion blow on through. Then choose to ACT WITH INTENT to deal with this new problem.
2) You have discovered you did not address the ghost layer in your polymath framework. The question of "how to we want to be WHEN it ends?" Because it will end. All relationships come with a clock attached. Even my husband or I will die one day if our run goes out that far. An ending will happen. So talk it out and choose so when it comes you all remember how you agreed to behave to each other so you can land the polyship and all walk away with good memories, a bittersweet sweet, and walk away friends. Not crash and fucking BURN. Sheesh. (I am always amazed people don't foresee this common enough scene. Not judging you at all -- just illustrating we are all HUMAN and it HAPPENS. Be KIND to yourself in this situation! *hug*)
3) Now that you discovered this faulty planning problem, don't all have a conniption and a cow and end things so ugh-ly. If it really is the end of it ALL or the end of this formation. Things have to evolve and adapt in relationship.
Once we were a dating couple in a V. Then a married couple with an exOSO friend. Then a married couple with a baby and a faded OSO friend. Then a married couple with a kid that is closed. Then a married couple with a growing child, talking anew about opening up later down... maybe. It's a breathing, living organism we tend to here -- this relationship of GG + GGDH. We roll with it, and I like to think we roll well.
You tend yours too. Yours is a 5 yr old polyship -- temper tantrum times are not quite past.
If that's how long your polyship runs, so be it. But CHOOSE. Act with INTENT.
Discuss HOW you want to end if what you are ending is THIS formation where you live-in or the whole shebang.
Last edited by GalaGirl; 07-27-2012 at 05:32 AM.