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Old 07-27-2012, 04:45 AM
Mintcar Mintcar is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 24
Cool Almost Splitsville

Hello again. Sorry I have been away for awhile. I know that I'm not a huge presence on this site but I really trust all of you and I appreciate that this site exists. Things have been crazy and I'm very confused. About a month ago I had an emotional episode having to do with frustrations with my mom and I became irrationally angry with my man. I have bipolar and borderline personality disorder and these things happen from time to time. Yes, I am seeinng a psychiatrist for these problems and my man and his wife know all about it. Well, I woke up the next day and they said that they both wanted me to leave especially because my man is starting to worry about his teenage daughter's friends are going to start saying about our sitch (we have been together 5 years), blah, blah, blah. At the last minute he said that he wanted to give it a week and see where we were. He did state, however, that he no longer could see being with me forever, and that I make him unhappy most of the time, and that the only reason he still had me there was because he felt sorry for me. Well, at the end of the week I basically said, "f*** you, I deserve better than this, I shouldn't have to worry every day if your wife and daughter no longer want me here, I deserve power over my destiny, I will not be your pity project, and if you want to be with your wife alone for the rest of your life because you're worried what society will think, then go ahead. I also told him that he was a liar because when he begged for me to move in he swore up and down that his wife and I would be equals, that id be treated like a princess, etc., and it was all lies. I said that I was outta there and that he would never ever see or hear from me again. At that point he turned it around and begged me to stay and said he was sorry. Since then he has been somewhat nicer but his wife, who was like a sister, has been fairly icy. I'm kinda done with all of this bulls###, but this is the man I thought was my soulmate. He used to say he loved me the most and was my best friend, and that I was the most beautiful thing in the world. Lately I just feel like a concubine. When this all went down he even went as far as to say that the only reason he kept me around anymore was because I was his sex kitten and a stellar lay, and far more adventurous than his wife. I will always love him dearly, but after the "I'm. Buying you a plane ticket home" speech I just cannot believe him anymore when he says he loves me equally with his wife and needs me just as much. After all, he never threatened to kick her out, and I would never have the power to make her leave like she does over me. Its probably because they have kids together. He says that makes no difference but that is a lie. That is her ace in the hole and always has been. I will always be at a power disadvantage. I completely believe in polyamory and would definitely do it again but this is beginning to just feel like a farce. What should I do? Stick it out or peace out? Bail or not bail? Or as Mick Jones of The Clash so eloquently put it, should I stay or should I go?
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