Forgot to add -- medibate the demons!
Meditate + masturbate = medibate
That's a go to for me -- because sex, even with oneself, releases all kinds of feel good endorphins.
That helps smooth the edges on the ride to me. The "dying in the forge" time. And opens me up to compersion better than "what if" tempest teapotty.
When it comes down to pushing the borders to the edge in Love, out there to the Dark Side of the Force... right on the very line?
What matters then is the direction you face.
So turn your back on the Dark, and frigg yourself over toward the Light, and hopefully your honey will come back to wash you down with compersion to yank you back the rest of the way.
Gooshy, puddle, squishy oooh ahhh release then.
Which is why I write it that way -- it hurts me SO GOOD.
I totally get the Gandalf thing.
For me my mantra is Terry Pratchett in Wintersmith:
“This I choose to do. If there is a price, this I choose to pay. If it is my death, then I choose to die. Where this takes me, there I choose to go. I choose. This I choose to do.”
In choosing poly, in choosing to open when I choose to open...
I know I'm not going to die DIE. It will just feel
that way and feel horrible.
But that's the price to feel that good in loving many. The risk. To get to feel so, so good
, it is horribly sweet.
But the first time in the forge is scary extra because it's NEW. But I'm sure you have stood in other life forges, and endured. The skills transfer. You can hang in there, you can get through this. Do NOT what if. Demystify, OWN it. Because this you chose to do. To go into Hang Time. Swing from the gallows.
Talk to your honey about what you might need for aftercare.
- I need reconnection with honey.
- I need acknowledgement of my Hang Time, time spent in the forge not being the fun part
- I need thanking for that
- I also need feedback on how I Hung -- did I do it ok? Could I do it better and lessen the Hang Time aftershock? Take it smoother on both of us?
- I need validation and I need to be told I am loved, and this is shown to me in gentle handling of my heart and feelings
So maybe think about what YOU need for your aftercare.