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Old 07-26-2012, 07:01 PM
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Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Seattle-ish
Posts: 826

I hope you summon up the courage to tell him soon. I know it's scary but the longer you put it off the more you both suffer. You are probably on some level treating him differently, and possibly badly the longer you struggle with this issue because you are not as comfortable around him because you know you need to tell him. I imagine it's also affecting your relationship with your girlfriend too.

Perhaps he wont want to be in your life if you tell him how you feel, but if that is what he needs to do to heal, if you're his friend you'll let him have that. You need to take that leap of faith that the friendship you've built with him is strong enough to still be there after the dynamic change. It IS always possible after a brief turbulence he can accept exactly what is and there is no change in your love for each other. At some point it does become you stringing him along if you know you need to be upfront with him and aren't for too long. He deserves to know where you stand so he can not feel like he's wasted time being made a fool of.

I'm really crossing my fingers that you update next week that you let him know so you could both make the decisions that are best for yourselves. I'll also say...if you keep dating other people, it's likely you'll have to have these hard talks with other people too, and it's better to get practiced at being honest as soon as there's something to be honest about.

edit: stop beating yourself up for not feeling the same way as he does now. you are not obliged to give him it, even if you wish you could, and I'm sure he'd feel worse if he knew you were pretending at any level.
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.

Last edited by Anneintherain; 07-26-2012 at 07:09 PM.
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