"But you are having a sexual relationship with him? So he IS available to still cheat on his wife with you and you are helping him do it."
Yes, we are having sex with him, but I am not having sex alone with him. We meet as a 3some.
"I'm not really sure what you mean by "this lifestyle" - poly? Sex-only?"
"Do you know her at all?"
No, I do not know her at all.
"Do you know that any of the things he says about his relationship with her are true?"
There are certain circumstances that lead me to believe that they are true.
"I have known a lot of guys who have blatantly lied about the nature of their relationships with their wives in order to be able to cheat on them."
Yes, I also know of many men that will say anything just to have sex with another woman. However, there is more to this story and to say how I know that he hasn't or won't do this would be giving out more than I am willing to share. I apologize and I know that sounds like a cop out, but it honestly isn't.
"But you allowed it to evolve into this cheating situation. You did have control over the situation, nobody forced you to do anything."
You are right.
"Well, you COULD always actually take some control of the situation and do what you feel is right, rather than just "waiting and seeing"."
"You could say "Look, we would really like to continue this, but we're really uncomfortable about your wife not knowing - either get your relationship with your wife to the point where she agrees with this, and we can meet her, or get yourself to the point where you and she aren't married any more. Then we can really see where this can go. Until then, we really need to stop doing anything that is cheating."
Yes, our choice. But I will not ask him to leave his wife.
"A good realisation - but I think that you need to really work out where your morals stand with regards to cheating and what you will and won't enter in to in this sort of situation."
You are right again. We do need to cover a lot more ground rules and what we will and won't tolerate.
Sorry, I don't know how to do all that fancy shmancy quote thingy.