Thanks GG! You bring up some good points. I like that "BF forks over the BF play book, and if she cannot hack playing there, she makes her choice." That would be awesome if that is how it were. The issue here is that he is the one making a choice, based on what he thinks she might think. No actual communication is there to back this up. Its pretty ridiculous to me, but I am hanging in there, waiting for our date so I can communicate with him.
I guess the real issue is that i am dating someone who is open to poly, but not committed to being poly. Because then, it wouldn't be an issue. I feel like he is realizing how difficult being in a poly relationship can be. Also, how much more effort it takes to find people who are ok with that.
On the upside, I am talking with another guy who is already poly, and it is just great to find support in that manner. At this point I am pretty sure things will end between me and my bf, because I really don't want to be a part of his "choice" because I am pretty sure he will choose her. But again, I am going to communicate with him first and let this thing work itself to the appropriate end.
Have courage to continue this journey, for it holds nothing but lessons and wonders.