We are closed at this chunk of time.
But DH and I have been reviewing things in prep for a time if/when we do open again.
And THIS VERY THING came up. And I think it's classic/common.
It's "take care of my baby you stranger you!" anxiety that comes out as jealous. I consider the jealousy the red flag of "something is here! Look!" and then dig in to see what it speaks to. THIS one? So classic, so common.
Because we know our established partner. They're our established sweetie. We WANT and get turned on by the hoped for result -- lovers/partners/metas in cuddle puddle swoon and we date maybe
But we DISLIKE the transition phase to try to GET there from point A to point B. Because this person is a stranger still in some ways. And we feel anxious about it. Because we have no guarantee, we do not KNOW how the story ends yet. We'd be thrilled to pull out the "maybe" and have then be "my new sweetie" but it takes time to do that! Aaaaahhhhh!
You are doing the right things. Talking to him about it. I've talked to DH.
I don't have my meta/partner on the scene. Right now there is no candidate for the slot. But if I did? I would open up and talk to them about these fears and acknowledge they perhaps may have fears of their own of "intrusion" in on the "established" couple and any "third wheel" dealios floating about. That is the flip side, also classic, common enough.
Open up to creating emotional bonds across the ties, and then the transition ride while bumpy, doesn't have to be horrors. And it puts you closer to hitting the ideal mark.
I like the comfortable uncomfortable of a new love unfolding. I try to make it be as comfy as possible though because it is rough in the transition dating time.
I'm polyamorous and I get my jollies in the established kooshy time, but you don't GET there without traveling through this space with them. So... I pay the priced, but I try to own it and do it MY way. Comfy as possible uncomfortable.