Ok, I followed my own advice – I breathed. It’s about all I did today, but I did relax some. I took two, yes, two bubble baths, had some wine, and just let things go a bit. Partly, as all women gloriously experience (ugh), my hormones are righting themselves right on time. So I was bound to be less stressed, even if nothing changed. But still, I tried to relax a bit and the feelings of hopelessness have subsided. I can’t say that I’m feeling good about Piper and I, but I am feeling less horrible about the situation. In a nutshell, I’m really struggling to understand how he feels about work. It seems that bosses always manage to make him feel like he has to work long, long hours or he’ll lose his job – which then stresses him – and then I’m standing behind him upset too – which stresses him even more. It’s a vicious cycle. And because I don’t get wrapped up in work in the same way he does, I don’t understand how it gets out of hand, and consequently, I feel like a secondary to his job. I hate feeling this way.
In other news, I am beginning to decorate my suite. I’ve been shopping on ebay and picked out a few things. I’m trying to stick to a budget, but we’ll see.
I’ve got a whole theme, wrapped around serenity, calmness, and things that make me smile. I intend this to be a peaceful space that will help me relax and stay centered. I find myself craving to be there now. I was just starting to warm up to the idea of having some control over my little area in the house, a little control over my emotions and time, and a little less stress – all of which has unraveled since coming on “vacation”. Being second, and shedding all the responsibility that is lost with that status, is sounding good, at the moment anyway….
Rule #9: Don’t go to bed angry (haven’t we all heard that one before? Well, it’s worth revisiting….)
Task #10: Keep breathing…I think I need one more day of bubbles and wine before moving forward (look at me taking it slow! Ha! I never do that!)
And to lovefromgirl: I couldn’t agree with you more. I do think upstairs makes more sense for all the reasons you noted on the kid front. As it were, all the kids and the upstairs bedroom are on the same floor – also though, there is a full kitchenette, bar, and living room/playroom up there too. So I could conceivably have munchies, etc., entertain, have a full space, etc. without issue. The upstairs space is about 2400sf – so there is plenty of space. Alsooo, there is a lovely 6ft spa tub in the bedroom and a lovely balcony. So yeah, it would work
But also, downstairs spans about 1900sf and the other suite has an exterior exit which would allow Colada and Piper privacy when coming/going. They also have access to the downstairs living room, pool, etc. So they could entertain, hang out, etc. in adultville quite easily – and probably better.
As far as seeing one another – I assume that will be a short-lived issue – but we’ll see. She isn’t exactly rushing to meet me, eager, and only maybe is she even interested. So I can’t say for sure there. But I believe Piper will not continue to see her if she is unwilling in the near future. It’s just too stressful the way it is, and frankly, impractical. But for now, I stay in my area from 9pm to 6am unless we talk about it in advance.