Well, I have been reading through the forum and reading some of various blogs and relationship sites.
To be completely honest with myself I think I am dealing with two issues or mistakes on my part.
1 - I fear losing her. From everything she has said this fear is irrational. I suspect it is deeply seated in concerns I don't deserve to be happy. I will make this the major focus of my one on one counseling coming up as I suspect it is probably the source of my depression also.
2 - I try too hard to make her happy instead of remembering to address my own needs and happiness in conjunction with hers.
I am certain there are other issues involved as well. If anyone has resources or advice on these two please chime in.
I will continue my search for enlightenment and happiness.