Originally Posted by Prudence
Right now, I'm hurt that the exchange of these courtesies has been suspended, or that there is a hiccup in the cycle of them somewhere. So I feel like I'm paying into the system, but not being given any disbursements, if that makes sense... and that sucks, I want my dividends back.
I think this is a perfect example of how dynamics can change between a couple when one of them becomes involved with someone else. Not that these changes will always be negatives, that's not what I mean at all. However, I feel that when another person's energy enters the mix, it is impossible for all things to just keep going the way they have without any shifts. It is like the chemistry of baking - when you add this ingredient, that happens, when you add that ingredient, this happens, and so on. Eventually, as long as one does not hold on too tightly to the way things were, everything levels out again and it is possible to regain equilibrium and stability.
Just think of his relationship with the gf as the grain of sand in your oyster. What is an irritation now could very well become a pearl.