View Single Post
Old 07-25-2012, 04:08 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 9,875

Originally Posted by Prudence View Post
Right now, I'm hurt that the exchange of these courtesies has been suspended, or that there is a hiccup in the cycle of them somewhere. So I feel like I'm paying into the system, but not being given any disbursements, if that makes sense... and that sucks, I want my dividends back.
I think this is a perfect example of how dynamics can change between a couple when one of them becomes involved with someone else. Not that these changes will always be negatives, that's not what I mean at all. However, I feel that when another person's energy enters the mix, it is impossible for all things to just keep going the way they have without any shifts. It is like the chemistry of baking - when you add this ingredient, that happens, when you add that ingredient, this happens, and so on. Eventually, as long as one does not hold on too tightly to the way things were, everything levels out again and it is possible to regain equilibrium and stability.

Just think of his relationship with the gf as the grain of sand in your oyster. What is an irritation now could very well become a pearl.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.
Reply With Quote