View Single Post
  #6  
Old 07-25-2012, 01:51 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 8,321
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by monogamishSF View Post
I meant "this sort of thing" to mean prospective secondaries, not me freaking out all over the place.
Oh, cool.

Quote:
Originally Posted by monogamishSF View Post
When do they become background noise and what do you do in the meantime?
I guess this is what Tristan Taormino meant by just telling that voice to "buzz off." You (and I mean the collective "you," which includes me as well in this and my previous post) just have to push it back into the background and occupy yourself with other things. It isn't easy at first, but can be done. I admit, the answer is simple but not easily mastered without practice. Many times I have wished for a magic wand, but there isn't any, unfortunately.
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 07-25-2012 at 01:54 AM.
Reply With Quote