I meant "this sort of thing" to mean prospective secondaries, not me freaking out all over the place.
What if my insecurities ARE due to the present situation? How do you know the difference? We have trust issues at play that are very real, on top of my personal stuff, so in my experience, I do have things to fear.
When do they become background noise and what do you do in the meantime?
To lovingradiance and galagirl, thanks for the pointers.