Frustrated Poly Husband
My husband (hubs) and I have been married for 23 years, being open on and off since the beginning. Up until now, those periods were unsuccessful because I wasn't participating, just allowing him to seek sex in other places. For the past 9 months we've been open and poly. He had a gf, but they broke up. At about the same time, I met my wonderful boyfriend (bf) who is as happily married and poly as I am.... Perfect!
So, for the past 5 months I have been happy with hubs and bf. The problem is that hubs doesn't have a secondary partner. He hates being left alone when I go out with bf.
Hubs admits that if he had the committed secondary partner he craves that his loneliness wouldn't be an issue. He is so frustrated because he hasn't found a new girlfriend. I constantly have to hear about all of the really messed up women out there and how no one will ever want him. I'm so frustrated! I feel that hubs is so miserable because be doesn't have what I have with bf, which he desperately wants, that he wont find the woman he's looking for.
How do I get hubs to relax? He's never going to find the woman he's looking for being so unhappy with what he's got in his life right now, which is a good job, wonderful grown kids, great friends, a supportive poly community, and a fantastic wife!