View Single Post
  #15  
Old 07-24-2012, 08:50 PM
CielDuMatin's Avatar
CielDuMatin CielDuMatin is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Upstate New York, USA
Posts: 1,456
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by lace3232 View Post
I beleive that just one person can make the other happy if they are truelly meant for one another [...] And why do u need more than one person? I'm trying to understand my husband and I just hit a mental wall.
What you are saying here isn't that unusual. We often talk about folks' "mental wiring". there are some that tend to be wireds more towards a monogamous way of thinking, and others that are wired towards a polamorous way.

A so-called "mono" person believes that the only reason that someone may love more than one person is because of some flaw or defect in them. This isn't the way a poly person thinks at all. Everybody has flaws, for one thing - but even if they didn't, even if there were some mythical "perfect" person out there, a poly person would still be capable of loving them and others.

The idea that someone can be "everything" to another person also doesn't compute for poly folk. We are all individuals and can enjoy the differences between us. The love that we feel for each person isn't some sort of substitute for the love we feel for another. Poly folks talk about the capacity for infinite love - just because they love someone else doesn't mean that they love you less - the amount of love that we have isn't a piece of pie that gets divided between those interested. In fact, for me, I love my partner even more because I have other partners (and I am very much "in love" with both of my partners).

This so-called mono/poly" relationship has been discussed often on here and in other places - a tag search may give you more information, if you are curious.
__________________
Please check out The Birdcage - an open, friendly Polyamory forum for all parts of New York State
http://www.thebirdcage.org/

"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb
Reply With Quote