I'm sorry, since I know this isn't what you were asking, but I agree with the other posters. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Why give her the chance to fool you a third time?? It's one thing to screw up, to make a mistake, even to cheat -- its wrong, but it can be explained as a mistake of passion. But lying to your face, lying while in bed with you, not giving a fuck about whether she makes you feel crazy? That's just someone who doesn't respect you and either doesn't know how to be an ethical, loving partner or doesn't care enough to.
You deserve better than that. If you rebuild trust with this woman and then she does this AGAIN, how will you ever trust anyone in the future? I wouldn't be so hard on her if she had shown any interest in honesty whatsoever at any point, but instead she's done everything she can to lie to you when convenient. Worse, she threw it back on you and tried to guilt you into believing that you were the bad guy by telling you it was your fault because your boundaries were too strict (if that was the case, she had the option to not agree to them). That's bordering on abusive.
Again -- You. Deserve. Better.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
Last edited by AnnabelMore; 07-24-2012 at 08:41 PM.