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Old 07-24-2012, 06:11 PM
Daffodil Daffodil is offline
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: NW USA (Seattle area)
Posts: 22

Originally Posted by kdt26417 View Post
So you have concerns that he is perhaps not "playing straight" with you.

Let me ask you this: Why does he spend time with you (at all) if he'd rather be with her? What's holding your marriage together?

No offense (nor rhetorical questions) intended
Yes, perhaps. He didn't tell me that he was in love with her. I stumbled upon that information. Emotional cheating? Why would he lie if there wasn't something for me to worry about?

I'm not saying he doesn't want to be with me. He does make an effort with me. But, deep down, I know that many times, he yearns to be with her and I don't blame him, I see how happy she makes him.

No offense taken. Thank you for your consideration.

Originally Posted by dingedheart View Post
Who ended the relationship or your bf or gf ?

Would we being having this conversation if that relationship was still intact?

Do you realize you said I'll stay mono for a while then " I'll " reopen the relationship.....does he ever get a vote or voice on things? Does he pick out his own close ?

How would you rate the strength of your marriage? 5 yrs ago ...and today?

Are you being treated for your mental health issues ? Is counseling part of that?
You sure do ask alot of questions!

I was in a long distance relationship with my bf. He got very distant. We lost touch. I guess he found someone else in his new community. Would we be having this conversation if he was still around? Maybe, maybe not. It's hard to answer that. At least with him, I had another source of support.

He thinks he gets a vote. But he really doesn't. I have a strong fight/flight response to this. Fight - I will pull out all the stops to keep him so that he doesn't leave me for her. Flight. - More like a fake flight - You can leave, I'll understand and forgive you for hurting me, your happiness is the most important. That gets him everytime.

Counselling is a private matter. But yes, I have sought out help.