That's my point-cause the labels, those are just for outside discussions. Like "she's the baby, she's the oldest, he's my hsuband, he's my OSO".
For talkign with your *whoever*, create a term that fits.
SOME people like using "hubby" "wifey" (which is what Maca calls me). But, most of us do better with something more personal and leaving labels as defining words for the rest of hte world.