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Old 07-24-2012, 02:32 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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I believe LR just explained why a designation such as "tertiary" would be different from a "secondary." Distance, amount of time spent, emotional investment, financial involvement, whatever - can all be factors in "grading" someone's involvement in one's life. Just ask yourself what reasons you would consider someone third place in your life. Seriously, though, you don't even need to use those terms. Not every poly tangle goes by hierarchical positioning. Many of us, myself included, find the whole primary/secondary/tertiary terminology rather icky. I think of people whom I see less often as "satellite relationships" rather than tertiaries.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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