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Old 07-24-2012, 01:25 AM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Default Affection in front of metamours

In your relationships, how acceptable is it to show affection to a partner in front of that partner's other partner(s) (your metamour(s))? I got to thinking about this because of a post in which someone was talking about feeling sad when she saw her partner cuddling with his new partner (this was a vee, not a triad).

Personally, I have two partners (Gia and Davis) but only one metamour (Eric, Gia's husband), so this question pertains to me and Gia showing affection in front of Eric, or Eric and Gia showing affection in front on me. Although our relationship is emotionally a vee, we have threesomes from time to time (mmm), so in theory you'd think it'd be all cool to show all sorts of affection to each other whenever... certainly, when we're in sexy threesome mode we unabashedly show each other all sorts of affection, kissing, cuddling, etc.

However, thinking about it, I think that both Eric and I are much more reserved with Gia when the other is around versus how we might act alone. Like, if it's just me and her, I might randomly grab Gia and kiss and nuzzle her. I might even still do that with Eric elsewhere in the house, because if he passes through and sees it it's no big deal... but I wouldn't do it right in front of him except to say goodbye at the end of the night. Just seems rude. And as much as I wish it were otherwise, I DO feel some jealousy over the time that he and her get together (which she and I don't get much of lately), so I really appreciate the fact that they aren't usually overtly sexual or even particularly cuddly around me if I'm not going to be included. I would probably be much more chill and compersion-y about it if I had all the her-and-me time I could possibly want right now, but all three of us know quite clearly that that's not the case. :/ So, yeah, I appreciate their discretion all the more.

So, how do displays of affection in front of metamours factor into your relationships, if at all?
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
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