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Old 07-23-2012, 11:55 PM
km34 km34 is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 624

Originally Posted by RunningMan View Post
I didn't agree to give up anything. Given the fact that he didn't really respect me enough to at least listen to what I had to say and look at the information that I had gathered, I feel in no way obligated to do anything. If he had chose to handle it in a different manner, then I would respect his wishes more, but not when someone insults me like that.

I have just agreed to give up the idea of keeping everything open.
I don't see the insult in what you've shared.

You told him how you feel and that you believe you are poly and want a more poly relationship than what you have.

He told you he can't do that, but that he is fine continuing the way it's been before - you do what you want without him knowing and if you do slip up and get caught, he'll ignore it.

He apparently CAN'T do poly. You're now using him so you don't have to get debt. Get out of there and let the man find someone who will actually be happy to be with him instead of leaving him yoked with you, the man who uses him for financial reasons and feels burdened by the expectation of being monoamorous.

Kudos to you for being honest, I think that was a great step, but quitting there and just accepting what he's said as law for YOUR life isn't good for you and it isn't good for him. Either he didn't realize how serious you were about this so the conversation didn't really take off OR he is very serious on NOT EVER being okay with it so there's no point in the conversation. Either make him talk to you and explain WHY you want a different brand of relationship (feeling the need for it, inability to stick to monogamy/monoamory, danger of random hookups, etc) or leave so that you (and he) can find someone(s) who want the same thing.
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