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Old 07-23-2012, 11:30 PM
Stephy2002 Stephy2002 is offline
New Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 4
Question New at poly, having unexpected feelings of jealousy.

So, me and my bf found a new gal pal. She is mostly his friend, I don't really have anything in common with her, but they get along great. I like her, she's sweet, beautiful, I really do like her. However, I think it took me by surprise, that, when we did find someone, her and my bf are... getting along really well. This should be a good thing. Logically it is. It didn't bother me until she came over last night, and I saw them cuddling and talking on the bed. I laid with them for a little while, but I just felt like I was intruding, so I went elsewhere and let them have some privacy. In reality, I wanted to run in there and yell, "Get off my BOYFRIEND!!"

I'm really just confused. I've fantasized about them having sex, and was genuinely very turned on by it. So I thought that I would love it when it became a reality. But they haven't even had sex yet, and the fires of jealousy are burning within me.

It didn't phase me when he told me about what they did do. (making out, etc.) What bothered me the most, was seeing them play footsey in bed, her laying her head on his chest, whispering to each other. Knowing that he listens to her problems, that they are becoming close friends. I know how easily it can be to fall out of love with someone you thought you'd spend the rest of your life with. I fell in love with someone else when I was married.

I've expressed my feelings to him, so he knows exactly how I feel. We've talked about it. I feel like he means it when he tells me I have nothing to worry about. But I also meant it, at first, when I told my husband about my "new friend". And then I accidentally fell in love.

I know I need to be happy for him, that he's found a new friend. I guess part of it is that, when we are all three together, I feel like the third wheel.

I honestly have never really felt jealousy before, with anyone, and I just don't know what to do with these feelings. When I know they are together, in bed, I am happy for him, I am even kinda turned on, but I also want to go in there and drag her off the bed by her hair, yelling "Mine! Mine! MMMMINE!" >.<

Guys, what do I do? I can't ask them not to see each other. They are good friends. I liked the idea of being poly, and I would still like to be, but these awful feelings just smacked me in the face and I don't know what to do.
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