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Old 05-30-2009, 06:53 PM
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Derbylicious Derbylicious is offline
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Victoria BC
Posts: 1,603

Originally Posted by alphafour View Post
I understand that you feel fearful that the choice to open your relationship could cause a breech in the current environment of your marriage. It is the big fear that the standard of monagamy has given most women. Most of you ladies don't want anything but that protective man to stand by you and defend you from all that society can throw at you. Society threw monagamy at you, and this site will do its best to protect you from the stigma of "thinking outside the box."

Maybe that's partly what this is. I like to believe that I'm pretty self sufficient though and that I can defend myself against what the world has to throw at me. Given my husband's job I do spend long periods of time alone and have to take what is thrown at me. But you are right that when he is home I do rely on him to take on his role as part of this family. Our time is sometimes fairly limited together and so I expect a lot of him when he is home to make up for the time that he is away.

There is so many things going on in my head and not a lot of it makes sense. I know things logically but I guess I just don't know them emotionally. More stuff to work through I guess. And here I was thinking that I didn't have any issues. I have a lot of issues that have come from a whole lot of places. I was so good at repressing them until now :P.

I think what I need is someone who has been in the early stages of poly and has gotten through it who I can confide in. Talking to your spouse only goes so far especailly when you're both coming into the discussion with somewhat of an agenda. We have friends that we can bounch other things off of and I think I could really use a friend who I can bounch poly stuff off of. Someone who understands the emotions and the difference between the logical and the emotional. I don't see the discussions between my spouse and I as moving forward anymore. It's important to talk and to be heard but it gets to the point when you're just having the same discussion over and over again and never coming up with any way of advancing.
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