I was so lonely last night for no good reason. I had a weekend filled with adventure (I went spelunking). And then as soon as I got home I was all alone. The kids are camping with their grandparents this week and my husband was out on a coffee date. There I was alone in the house with the laundry to do and the pets to take care of and just a big feeling of emptiness inside me.
This past week I have gone to bed alone every night and have gotten up alone every morning. I feel like I'm walking in a different world than the rest of the people in my house.
I think it's also being aggravated by both my husband and RP having new people in their lives. Although I'm not feeling the need for more in my life I am still envious of the shiny new they are experiencing.
It's not like no one is interested in me it's just the the feeling hasn't been reciprocal when someone has shown interest in me so I tend to write those off as not counting. I have to remind myself that it's not a competition. If something is meant to be it will happen. I would rather have something develop organically anyway if it's going to happen.
Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok it's not the end.