I know I'm a bit late to the game but to add my 2 cents, I prefer to know things ASAP. Recently my spouse and I had an issue where he met somebody he hit it off with on a work trip and did not tell me until he came home, after spending time with her for several days. In my case I've made it really clear that I'd like to know as soon as he realizes he is interested in somebody, and he's agreed to do so. We were talking regularly so it would've been convenient to mention. He decided it would be "better for me" if he waited to get home to talk to me in person. And it wasn't. I don't like other people deciding things for me (let alone when I've clearly stated what I do want) but I want as much time to noodle on an idea as they have, not be made aware of it after they've already had lots of time to think and process and make decisions. I immediately chat with my partners if I like somebody & it feels like I can trust them more if they let me know when they do too without trying to "stage" how they present the information.
On the off chance R liked to be informed so he doesn't feel like he's being manipulated, I'd say either tell R so he can ponder it and cease all questionable activity with G until things are clearly understood and agreed to, or don't tell R until you see him and cease all questionable activity with G until things are clearly understood and agreed to. I'd go with plan A, myself.
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
Last edited by Anneintherain; 07-23-2012 at 09:00 AM.