Originally Posted by lace3232
I came here also to find out why people need someone other than their spouse in a romantic way. I don't get it at all.
Some of us are naturally disposed to more than one romantic relationship.
From the time of 1st grade, I remember always always having two people that I thought I was "going to marry" and later, was "in love with".
1-3rd grade it was Jeremy & David.
4-6th is was Micah &Jesse.
7th was Scott & Ben.
8th was Marko & Alvin.
9th-was Alvin & Andy.
10-11th was Andy and Derek.
After graduation was
Andy and Kim,
Chris and Kelly.
Now its Maca and GG.
GG is exacxtly the opposite. He didn't fall in love until he was 18. That was me and at 36 years old, that hasn't wavered or changed one iota.
But, part of loving me is accepting me for who I am-and that means understanding that I do love more than one and I always will.
It's not easy-but it's reality.
Much like if you fell in love with a man who was gay or bisexual, you would have to accept this facet of who he is.
I can't speak for your husband personally. He may be legitimately polyamorous-and in love with you both, but struggling with the details of being upfront and open.
he may just be an asshole who is getting his rocks off.
But-either way, he isn't monogamous.
I didn't quite figure out the details of the baby. But, if you are feeling bonded, maybe it's a good time to take that little one out on your own, rent a hotel and spend some one on one time getting to know the little one for who they are personally, not who they came from.
Each of our children is a complete individual in their own right. Sometimes its hard, especially when they are babies, to see that. Especially in a society that tries so hard to connect the dots with "mama's eyes, daddy's nose" comments.
But, getting to know their individual personality will help you separate them from the rest and build a relationship with them personally.
I have 3 of my own. The oldest was hardest, she's the spitting image of her father, who left me when she was 2 months old. But, she's so much my daughter! It was hard those first few months, seeing his face every day. But, as I focused on her own special intricate quirks, I found myself loving her more and more.